the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
