omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
