I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
PANTIES FOUND
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
