Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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