Moan for me like Helen Keller
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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