Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
