she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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