Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
