My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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