I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
