he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My bed smells like the plague
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
