the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
