Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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