you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
