left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize