I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
this hospital has no fireball
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize