HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
