Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
