The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
