hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Umm I'm too high to move.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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