I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
