I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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