i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
