We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
