i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
