go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
