He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
