What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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