i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
