My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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