dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize