Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
