butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
