if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
