I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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