We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
