Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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