my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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