You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
