Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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