i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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