all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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