Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
