quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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