i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
