That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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