how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
