We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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