I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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