East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
