Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
