I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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