I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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