I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
