It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You smell like stripper and shame
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
