Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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