Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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