i think my tv is drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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