Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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