the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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