Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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