I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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