I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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