I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
