Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
