he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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